Tenjewberrymuds

Again, this one's from the mail... this got me almost ROFL.

*************************************************************************************

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service (RS): "Morrin! Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: "Rye ..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G : "Oh, the eggs!? How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem?? Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
G: "What?"
RS:"An toes! July Sahn toes?"
G: "I don't think so."
RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!... Why jew don juan toes?? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
G: "English muffin!!?? I've got it!? You were saying 'Toast.'? Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Excuse me?"
RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."
G: "You're very welcome."

Sharing Experience

Every year, taxpayers in Japan, foreigners and locals alike, troop to tax offices or city halls all over the country to apply for a tax refund. It works like the tax exemptions in the Philippines but in Japan, people pay first, then claim later.

So this morning, I went to the town hall to file Ariel's claim. We have been doing this annually and I was tasked to do the same in 2007. I got to town hall at a little past 9AM. I took a number and sat down. I was 16th to be served, 10th after the current number on the marker. I looked around and saw that I was the youngest person in the waiting area, all the others were Japanese senior citizens. Three counters were already open followed by two more a little later.

I have always admired the efficient service in government offices in Japan. Back in the Philippines, I always dreaded going to government offices because I always get very frustrated with the very lousy service. I remember going to the city hall in Butuan one afternoon and saw employees mindlessly chatting, eating snacks or applying make up, despite the long line of people waiting. Some employees were even having massages! The stench of massage oil was everywhere. There were none of that in Japan, at least based on my experience.

After a few minutes of waiting, my number was finally called. I immediately recognized the same guy who served me two years ago. He evaluated my supporting documents and asked for the birth certificates of all the listed beneficiaries. I looked in my folder but didn't have the documents. It seems that they are stricter this year because they didn't ask for this before. I was told to come back when I already have the documents.

I rushed back to the apartment, found the birth certificates and went back in the afternoon. There were only 2 people waiting this time. I was served in another counter by an androgynous anime-looking Japanese. After evaluation, I filled up a few forms and was asked to check our bank after a month. I said my thank you's and did the customary bows and went on my way.

Sunday Afternoon With GMCA

This afternoon, Ariel and I were invited to a birthday party. It was our friends Jasper and Marixi's youngest son's 1st birthday. I was not too keen on going. I haven't been to any of the Christian Sunday services since I came back to Japan. I have been regularly going to the Catholic church to hear the bi-monthly Filipino mass, as I did this morning. This was the main reason why I didn't want to go. But my previous involvement with the community allowed me to build new friendships with fellow Filipinos who were "on the same wavelength" as myself, including Jasper and Marixi. This kind of people were hard to find in Japan. It was for friendship's sake that finally convinced me to go. The party was at 3PM.

Once there, I was immediately welcomed by old acquaintances. It has been more than a year since I last saw them. These were the same people whom I worked and performed with at the Christian concert in August 2007. I warmed up back to them and made myself comfortable. Familiar faces took turns coming up to me to chat: David and Kevin who greeted me at the door; of course, Marixi and Jasper; Ate Myrna; Leah and her husband Edwin; Ate Helen; Ate Lani; Cheaky; Kuya Steve; Apple; Tap2x and her former-bf-now-husband Robert; Ching and Cholo; Nimrod, the emcee; Net-net; the Hitachi boys - Doki, Archie and Ramsky; little DJ who sang to me; and Pastor Julio. I was also introduced to new members of the community including Felix, who at his young age was a preacher back in Cotabato. He was also the new Sunday school teacher of GMCA.

The program started with a dance number by the "Young Ones". Then, parlor games for the kids followed by merienda cena. To his and my surprise, Ariel was asked to say grace before meals. The feast was a smorgasbord of spaghetti, cake, inihaw na isda and baboy, kutsinta, puto, pudding, hotdogs with marshmallows, bopis and chop suey. After eating, there were more parlor games. One of the games was for the adults and I was forced to join it by special mention. It was a variation of the "Hep Hep Hooray!" game on Wowowee. But instead of "Hep Hep Hooray", we would say "Happy birthday Jaja". The game started with 12 of us and ended with me winning the very special prize of the game.

The party wrapped up at a little before 6pm. I headed back to the apartment with Ariel, grinning like a child with my loot.

A Love Story

It all came back to her after hearing those three words. "I love you", John expressed softly to Dianne. Dianne thought, "Why only now?"

*****

The two met at work six years before. They clicked instantly. Soon, they began dating. They dated for three years. But in all those years, the three delicate words were never spoken. They would hold hands and kiss on the cheek but were never intimate. It was obvious how they felt for each other. But they both did not have the courage to say it. Maybe actions were enough... or so they thought.

Three years into their "special friendship", Dianne had to leave for Australia. She said goodbye to John and vowed to stop thinking of him, letting go of the hope that they will end up with each other. She busied herself with work and completely lost touch with John.

She's now back, two years after she left. Upon learning of Dianne's arrival, John immediately sought her out and asked to talk to her. Dianne readily agreed for she herself had some news for John.

*****

"I love you...", he repeated. Dianne just stood there in disbelief. "I loved you since I met you and I still do", John continued. "I didn't say this before because I felt that I was not worthy of you. I worked so hard all these years so I can become a better man for you. I am ready now. I am ready to be with you and marry you."

Dianne was in tears. She took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry. I met somebody in Australia. We're getting married next month."

Joke Time

This had me laughing alone in my room...

*************************************************************************************

Boyfriend to Girlfriend, may LQ: What do you take me for?! Granted?

*****

Guard, answering the telephone: Hello?… Ah yes, for a while. Please hang yourself.

*****

Starlet in an interview: If the odds are against me, then I will against them.

*****

Inday Badiday asks a starlet about her mother's burial:
Inday: Kumusta ang libing ng nanay mo?
Starlet: Successful naman po.

*****

Army officer to cadet: "Do you know why I ask you to stand?"

Cadet: "No, sir."
Officer: "Ok, why?" (anlabo!)

*****

Teacher to students: Baka gusto nyong ibilad ko kayo sa covered courts.

*****

Teacher: Class, I want you to watch sex scenes.
Class: What?! Teacher!
Teacher: What's wrong? It's a beautiful film starring Bros Welles!(Bruce Willis)
Class: Aah, Sixth Sense!

*****

Sa isang examination:
Student: Mam, pwedeng gumamit ng liquid paper?
Teacher: Ang kulit naman! Sinabi nang pad paper lang eh.

*****

A reporter interviews a politician about the Philippine economy.

Politician says: Talagang mahirap ang buhay natin ngayon. Pero slow by slow, we will success.

*****

Teacher: Sorry, class. I'm late. My mother died three years ago. And now she's dead. (Ano daw?!)

*****

Heard in a fastfood chain:
Yaya: Ma'm, gusto po ni Mark ng KIDNEY MEAL!

*****

Teacher: What is ur name?
Student: Dell.
Teacher: What is ur old?

*****

In a restaurant:
Waiter: Sir, How do you want your egg?
Customer: Side in, side out.

*****

Mom interviews her daughter's suitor:
Mom: What's your course?
Suitor: Geo po (for geology).
Mom: Ahhh… Geo-rnalism. Ok yan. (ok nga!)

*****

Guy to Girl: I love you. This is not a ball. ("Hindi ito bola" in English)

*****

Teacher to students: Okay, form two straight circles and find your height alphabetically!

*****

Teacher to students: Okay class, it's time to go home. Form a line and pass out slowly.

*****

Angry teacher to student: I want you to bring your father and your mother, especially your parents, understood?! Bring them tomorrow in front of me, right here, right now!

*****

Emcee, in a party: The next song is the favorite song of my best friend, and neither do I!

*****

Teacher: Oy, magdala kayo ng chip ahoy a.
Student: Miss may "s" yon…
Teacher: A, sorry. Chip ahoys!

*****

Two lousy-in-english friends talking to each other:
Friend 1: Am I raining outside?
Friend 2: Not yet. Sprinkle only.

Mamimoys

Today, February 11, 2009, marks the 20th anniversary of my high school barkada - Mamimoys. Happy anniversary guys!!! Allow me to take you down memory lane with these pictures... Enjoy!

Going to Masao (Summer 1989)


Anniversary 1991


High School Graduation (March 23, 1991)


Mamimoys Christmas party (1990's)


Mabel's birthday @ Matahimik (2003)


Lina and Dalsa in Butuan (May 2004)


With Lina and Anthony outside Big Joe (May 2004)


@ Kinabjangan, Nasipit, ADN (May 2004)


Saying goodbye to Lina (June 2004)


With Dalsa in Pampanga (June 2004)


With Docs Marc and Gaule (March 2005?)


@ Mark's wedding in Cebu (May 2005)


JJMM (Christmas 2005)


With Koko, Mabel and Janice (Christmas 2008)

25 Things About Me

As posted on Facebook:

1. I do not know why I'm doing this, but I'm doing it anyway.
2. I had another brother who died at birth.
3. I was skinny as a child.
4. The only time I was hospitalized was in 2nd grade due to gastroentiritis. My Mom said it was caused by the dirty street food that I ate during recess.
5. I didn't like playing girly games when I was a child. I preferred jolens, lastiko, pintik and luthang over dolls.
6. I think I was only 5 years old when I had my first crush.
7. I was always made to dance in various school programs from Kindergarten to Senior year in High School.
8. My mom gave me a pep talk a day before I entered 1st grade because I was scared.
9. I was known by my classmates as Michelle until 2nd grade. My 3rd grade teacher insisted in calling me Jennifer. The name stuck until now.
10. I wore my infamous white-framed glasses in 6th Grade.
11. My High School barkada was named Mamimoys.
12. I was always late in High School. I missed my Trigonometry class for one whole quarter and still managed to get a good grade because I was the teacher's favorite. The feeling was not mutual.
13. I played softball from 6th grade to 4th year HS.
14. I almost went solo to my first JS Prom.
15. I got away with calling a teacher "buang" in front of the Principal in High School. Long story.
16. I was a "barbarian" in UP.
17. I regret not watching any of the "Live AIDS" shows in college.
18. But I never missed the "radical" plays in AS and CAL.
19. The best isaw I ever tasted in the whole world was the one near Kalayaan Hall.
20. I started smoking regularly when I was 18.
21. I have 25 nicknames.
22. One of my nicknames is "Little Mermaid" because of my weird foot habit.
23. I am married to Ariel. He has the same name as the Disney mermaid. Connect! Connect!
24. I know somebody who thought "Part Of Your World" is a religious song.
25. I wish to visit at least one new place in the Philippines every year. Last year, I went to Iligan City for the first time.

Malling in Japan

Yesterday, Ariel and I went to Aeon Jusco, the nearest mall from our apartment. It takes one train ride and one bus ride to get to the mall. The whole travel totals 25 minutes excluding waiting time.

When we got there, we went straight to the food court for lunch. It was almost 2PM. I ordered Tuna Salad Sandwich at Subway = tuna salad on toasted wheat bread with everything on plus oil and vinegar dressing paired with iced tea. It was superb! Ariel opted for ramen and chahan set from a Japanese stall.

Afterwards, we window shopped around the mall. By Japanese standards, this mall is large. It is 3 storeys high with over 100 shops. But for Filipinos like me, it was very easy to handle, unlike Megamall and Mall of Asia in Manila which are really, really HUGE. We stopped by a shoe store, a weird Indian/Turkish shop, Billabong, a sports shop and an electronics shop. I wanted to see if there was Guitar Hero III for Xbox 360 but there was none.

While strolling, we passed by shoe shop where there was a lanky Japanese guy standing on a stool outside while shouting at the top of his lungs. He was advertising a timed shoe sale at their store. They were putting a certain number of boots on sale for a certain period of time. I guess it was a success because when we passed by, the items quickly dropped from 5 pairs to 1.

There is a 3-day mall-wide sale at Jusco this weekend. Good thing all the clothes shops were still selling winter items so we were not tempted to buy anything.


(Photo courtesy of an unsuspecting citizen of the internet world)