Bisaya Medley feat. Beyonce

This video had me laughing. Nice job!

I'm baaack!!!

Yup! I'm definitely back. Not that anybody would miss my presence. But here I am again after a month of hibernation. So what have I been up to this past month? I wish I could tell you that I went back to my beloved Butuan and ate lots and lots of lechon, but I couldn't. I am still stuck in Japan, only hearing through email about all the fun everybody was having during the homecoming and the fiesta.

My May was spent working, Facebooking (is there such a word?), chatting through YM and Skype, watching TV show finales, watching different sports events (boxing, NBA and tennis), participating in the GCA sportsfest, keeping updated with Philippine news, etc. etc. etc.

The month of May brought us a smorgasbord of topics to blog about. Surely, all Filipinos from all parts of the globe have heard about THE scandal. With that said, let me leave you with this music clip that is supposed to be wholesome but somehow sounds dirty to my ears.

Me

I just felt the need to put a face behind this blog. So, here is a recent pic of me:

Happy April Fool's Day everyone!!!

Philippine Geography

Here's a great way to learn about Philippine geography...

Tenjewberrymuds

Again, this one's from the mail... this got me almost ROFL.

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To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service (RS): "Morrin! Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: "Rye ..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G : "Oh, the eggs!? How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem?? Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
G: "What?"
RS:"An toes! July Sahn toes?"
G: "I don't think so."
RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!... Why jew don juan toes?? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
G: "English muffin!!?? I've got it!? You were saying 'Toast.'? Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Excuse me?"
RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."
G: "You're very welcome."

Joke Time

This had me laughing alone in my room...

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Boyfriend to Girlfriend, may LQ: What do you take me for?! Granted?

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Guard, answering the telephone: Hello?… Ah yes, for a while. Please hang yourself.

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Starlet in an interview: If the odds are against me, then I will against them.

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Inday Badiday asks a starlet about her mother's burial:
Inday: Kumusta ang libing ng nanay mo?
Starlet: Successful naman po.

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Army officer to cadet: "Do you know why I ask you to stand?"

Cadet: "No, sir."
Officer: "Ok, why?" (anlabo!)

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Teacher to students: Baka gusto nyong ibilad ko kayo sa covered courts.

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Teacher: Class, I want you to watch sex scenes.
Class: What?! Teacher!
Teacher: What's wrong? It's a beautiful film starring Bros Welles!(Bruce Willis)
Class: Aah, Sixth Sense!

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Sa isang examination:
Student: Mam, pwedeng gumamit ng liquid paper?
Teacher: Ang kulit naman! Sinabi nang pad paper lang eh.

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A reporter interviews a politician about the Philippine economy.

Politician says: Talagang mahirap ang buhay natin ngayon. Pero slow by slow, we will success.

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Teacher: Sorry, class. I'm late. My mother died three years ago. And now she's dead. (Ano daw?!)

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Heard in a fastfood chain:
Yaya: Ma'm, gusto po ni Mark ng KIDNEY MEAL!

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Teacher: What is ur name?
Student: Dell.
Teacher: What is ur old?

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In a restaurant:
Waiter: Sir, How do you want your egg?
Customer: Side in, side out.

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Mom interviews her daughter's suitor:
Mom: What's your course?
Suitor: Geo po (for geology).
Mom: Ahhh… Geo-rnalism. Ok yan. (ok nga!)

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Guy to Girl: I love you. This is not a ball. ("Hindi ito bola" in English)

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Teacher to students: Okay, form two straight circles and find your height alphabetically!

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Teacher to students: Okay class, it's time to go home. Form a line and pass out slowly.

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Angry teacher to student: I want you to bring your father and your mother, especially your parents, understood?! Bring them tomorrow in front of me, right here, right now!

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Emcee, in a party: The next song is the favorite song of my best friend, and neither do I!

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Teacher: Oy, magdala kayo ng chip ahoy a.
Student: Miss may "s" yon…
Teacher: A, sorry. Chip ahoys!

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Two lousy-in-english friends talking to each other:
Friend 1: Am I raining outside?
Friend 2: Not yet. Sprinkle only.

Pinoy Movies Are Made Of These

I got this in the mail and I'm reposting it here because I think it's hilarious.

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The Top Twenty Signs That You're Watching A Pinoy Movie

1. Sasayaw sa likod ng puno ng buko pag nasa beach yung scene. Alternate pa 'yung mga ulo nila.

2. 'Yung kontrabida yayakap sa bida, sabay taas ng kilay at ngingisi.

3. Uuwi ang bida na may dalang pancit sa kanyang nanay na si Anita Linda. Tatawagin nito ang mga bata para kumain, at kakamustahin ng bida ang pag-aaral habang kumakain ng pancit. Biglang may titigil na sasakyan sa harap ng bahay at pauulanan ng baril ang pamilya! Mamamatay si Anita Linda, at sisigaw ang bida ng "Inaaay!" at mangangakong ipaghihiganti ito. Moral lesson: Ang pansit nagdadala ng malas - nakakamatay.

4. Pag may magkaribal na babae, yung mabait deretcho ang buhok at may bangs. Yung salbahe, laging kulot.

5. Sa pinoy action movies, ang bida hindi nauubusan ng bala.

6. Sa pinoy action movies, kapag tumakbo ang bida, sa lupa lahat ang tama ng bala ng kalaban.

7. Kapag may angry mob na pupunta sa bahay-kubo ng manananggal, si Vangie Labalan ang laging lider.

8. Alam mong moment of truth na ng bida kapag sinabi na niya 'yung title ng pelikula.

9. Ang tawag ng kontrabida sa mga goons niya, "Mga bata."

10. 'Yung nakababatang kapatid ng bida habang naglalaro ng bola, mabibitawan at mapupunta sa gitna ng kalsada. Tapos may darating na sasakyan, tapos itutulak siya ng bida. 'Yung bida naman ang nasa gita ng kalsada. Biglang may sasakyang darating. Ang bida, ico-cross lang niya arms niya covering his face tapos sisigaw 'yung kapatid ng 'kuyaaa!' ... Next scene nasa ospital na sila. Simula na ng drama.

11. Kapag bakbakan, hindi nasasaktan ang bida, pero umaaray siya pag ginagamot na siya ng leading lady, at kasunod na ang love scene.

12. Kapag sinabi ng kontrabida ang masama niyang plano sa bida, ang sasabihin ng bida: "hayop ka!"

13. Ang bidang babae, pag katulong ang role, siguradong magiging anak ng amo niya sa ending.

14. Ang nanay ng mayaman laging may pamaypay na pangmayaman, at ang nanay ng mahirap laging naka duster.

15. Ang hideout ng kontrabida, parating mansion na may chicks sa pool.

16. Ang mga bida sa drama, pag nakatanggap ng masamang balita, laging may pinto sa likod nila para puwede silang sumandal habang nagi-slide dahan-dahan pababa, tapos todo iyak with matching uhog.

17. Pag di nahuli ng mga goons ang bida, sasabihin ng boss sa kanila, "Mga inutil!"

18. Laging nakakapulot ng baril na may bala ang bida kapag kinakailangan niya.

19. Laging mas maganda ang yayang bida kesa sa kontrabidang anak ng amo niya.

20. Pag ang ending ng movie ay song and dance number sa beach o resort, ang huling frame, tatalon ang buong cast... sabay freeze.

Tulo Ka Uwak

Last night, Ariel and I were singing local songs from our childhood. He sang Ilonggo songs and I, Visayan songs. Suddenly, I remembered this song from high school which was taught to me by my good friend, Jasper. We would sing this in front of the class just for fun with matching actions. Below are the lyrics of "Tulo Ka Uwak":

Tulo Ka Uwak

Tulo ka uwak, naglingkod sa sanga
Naglinkod sa sanga, naglingkod sa sanga
Tulo ka uwak, naglingkod sa sanga
Sayo sa kabuntagon

Ang nakauna, naigo sa tirador
Naigo sa tirador, naigo sa tirador
Ang nakauna, naigo sa tirador
Sayo sa kabuntagon

Ang ikaduha, nabali ang sanga
Nabali ang sanga, nabali ang sanga
Ang ikaduha, nabali ang sanga
Sayo sa kabuntagon

Ang ikatulo, nakalupad siya
Nakalupad siya, nakalupad siya
Ang ikatulo, nakalupad siya
Sayo sa kabuntagon

Mao ra kadto ang sugilanon ko
Ang sugilanon ko, ang sugilanon ko
Mao ra kadto ang sugilanon ko
Sayo sa kabuntagon.

Happy birthday Jasper!!!

The Crazies: One Night Only

Last night, my Manila-based friend, Jaguar, was in town for an overnight stay on his way from Sarangani to CDO. On this night, he only wanted to do one thing - sing. So we dragged along our other friend, Levin, and armed ourselves with our best singing voice for a night of uhmmm... singing. Or should I say howling?

The night started at 9:30PM. We met up at FOAK and proceeded to the Leaning Hotel of Karaga which had VIP karaoke rooms. We chose the cheapest and smallest room, figuring that the rest of our party had almost 0% chance of coming. My two famished friends ordered chop suey, crispy pata, chicharong bulaklak, cheese sticks and rice. I had blue margarita.

While the two ate their dinner, I started singing. To my dismay, I found that my "signature song" was not on the list. I recall singing it a few months back in another room. I complained to the waiter about it. He said our room was on a different program from the costlier rooms. "Lahi man gud and lesser desk (laser disc) nga gigamit diri ma'am," he explained. We continued to bug the waiter but decided to transfer to another room anyway. We know we will never have fun singing Matt Monro and Engelbert Humperdinck.

We settled in our new room and once we were sure that the songs we liked were available, the singers in us took over. We started with our warm-up pa-cute songs followed by our "sets". Mine was New Wave, Jaguar - OPM/Rock/Pinoy Rock, Levin - ballads. Then came the birit songs. I took a crack at Irene Cara's "Out Here On My Own" and Lea Salonga's version of "On My Own". For somebody who sang tenor in high school, I did ok. Thanks to my hormone therapy, I guess.

The climax of the night was the concert/fashion show segment. It was a riot! We were only three in the room but it sounded like there were 10 people! I was the designated singer, while the other two were the dancers/models. It was so crazy that I never sang a single song straight and kept bursting out laughing. Believe me, it's so hard to keep a straight face with these two guys around.

By 2:30 AM, we were already cooling down. The songs stopped playing at exactly 3AM, just after Jaguar sang the aptly-titled last song of the night - "My Way".

We then went to the Sentro Bldg. for a quick cup of coffee and hot chocolate with pan de sal. Jaguar had to travel to CDO later that day and Levin was feeling "utai" so we hailed one of Butuan's ever-reliable orange "ato ini" vehicles and said our goodbyes at 3:30 AM.

Note: Names have been changed kay trip lang nako.

Dancing with Brad Pitt

This amused me so I am posting it. This is somehow related to a dream I had a couple of nights ago. I won't talk about the dream. Just watch the video.