Kinamlutan

It's the name of this blog. But what is it really? Or where?

Kinamlutan is the barangay where the farm of my mother's family is located. Mama has been overseeing things there up until Papa's death last November. She has been there once since then. Most of her siblings are based overseas so Mama is left to take care of the farm. Since I am the one with Mama now, I somehow became the de facto farm manager. Mama is now more of the treasurer.

As a child, I have never been to that farm. There were no roads leading to it back then. I only set foot there after I got married, after an access road was constructed for the irrigation system. My uncle (former farm manager, now deceased) gave me and my husband a personal tour. He bared his dreams for the farm. He pointed out locations where he said we can put up our house. He huffed and puffed as we trod along the path leading to the hilltop. We never got to the peak but we climbed high enough to get a good view of the city.

I went back to the farm numerous times after that first tour. So much has changed since then. The mango trees are bigger. The pond has provided a good harvest. Rice farming has cycled several seasons.

My husband and I wish to put up our bamboo house there. It would be bliss to wake up to the sound of birds chirping, the little chicks scurrying to their mother hen, and the trees swaying to the gentle breeze. Yes! It would be bliss to live in our own little patch of heaven in Kinamlutan.

Coffee Night

Today, I met up with old friends from high school. Two of them are here on vacation. Here means Butuan, where I have been stationed since my father's death.

It's always nice to be with these girls. We spend hours reminiscing about days past. We talk about classmates whom we haven't seen since graduation. We sometimes talk about our former teachers, some dead, some still living. And we never fail to discuss former crushes. And we wonder why we fell for them in the first place.

We also keep up with the goings on of each other's lives - places we've visited, our recent achievements, our new discoveries.

Then, there's the usual "chika" - who hooked up with whom, who separated from whom, who was knocked up by whom, etc. etc. etc... until it's time to part again.

As we go our separate ways, we have new memories to recall... and we shall talk about them all over again at our next girls' coffee night.

Death in the family

It's sad that my 2nd entry is about my father's death. He died last November 5, 2007, almost two years after I last saw him. Cause of death: massive gastrointestinal bleeding blah blah blah. In short: abdominal aneurysm. He spent less than 24 hours in the hospital. I didn't know about it until an hour after he died. I didn't even know that he was brought to the hospital the night before, at midnight.

It is now March 23, 2008 and I am trying to move on. I still cry most nights. I think of him everyday.

They say that when dealing with death, one goes through the following stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I would say I went through these stages rather quickly. From denial to depression in two weeks. Acceptance is the sucker. It is knowing and understanding that you have lost someone forever but it does not stop the tears from coming.